i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I want her autograph on my taint
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
