But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
