We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
this is an emotional support booty call
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
