Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
