I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
