im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
