that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
