Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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