So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
