I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
