he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
