Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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