She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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