Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
