He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
