I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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