that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
