you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
