Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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