Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
