PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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