I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
