moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
