I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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