he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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