This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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