I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
