youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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