I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
