just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
