Moan for me like Helen Keller
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
