You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
