My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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