so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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