sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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