I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
