high people should be assigned attendants
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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