brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
