You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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