so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
