i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
