Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't think brook has ever known best
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
