Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
