Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
