he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
