How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
