How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
