Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
whose parrot is this?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
