So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
