He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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