i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
