I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
