I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
