You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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