Whod you bang
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He felt like a one man threesome
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
