This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
