I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Found the puke drawer
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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