Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
