there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
